30 posts tagged “nonverbal communication”

     Our life is all about communication. This include family members, neighbours, friends, work collegues, boss, well just any person we come across with. Quite often we can understand what's occuping person's mind without them saying anything. Their posture, gesture and especially facial expressions can change rapidly trying to follow thoughts and emotions connected with these thoughts.

     I came across this short cartoon and want to share it with you.

How do you like it?

For information on body language, please visit Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

     How often do you notice if the person is interested in conversation? Do they look at your eyes and keep the talk alive by adding their bit.

     Sometimes the conversation doesn't go the flow we want. If the person is not interested in what you are saying it's difficult especially when you are trying to make a sale. They won't buy unless you want to bore them to open their wallet. Some sales people use this way of persuading for purchase. It's really annoing.

    Maybe it's just better to leave the talk for another time. What if person is just tired and all that's occupies their mind is just to have some rest? Talking later about the same issue might bring better results. Or what if person is not interested at all...then why should you waist their and your time. If you still want  to persist then changing an  approach might make sense.

    What are the signs of bored body language? Some of them are very obvious...

    Eye contact, actually its absence is one of the main signals of boredom in non verbal communication. A person would look anywhere but your eyes. It would look like everything around is pretty much intertaining like door, their watch or clock on a wall, other people, they might be deciding whether they need manicure done etc. 

    They may also tap their fingers or swing their feet showing off their unpatience and readiness to switch their mind for something else.

    Their body may sag and they'd look for something to suppost them like leaning against the wall or slouch down in the seat etc. They may also yawn quite often (openly or trying to control).

    They would probably use some closed body language gestures as well. You can read my previous post for those.

Want to know more on body language? Then visit Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

Hi everyone

Please visit my site Improving Communication In Business and Personal Life to read my new article on body language.  It's called 'Interpreting Personal Space In Nonverbal Communication'. It's under NEW ARTICLE section.

Lena

         Knees have some say of their own when it's down to nonverbal communication.

         Knee shows up when a person bend their leg. This can work like a subtle pointer. That is, it can show who or what the person likes or desires by pointing at that direction. When sitting or standing among few people with crossed legs it is possible to say who the person has on their mind (among involved in conversation). Or if they are not interested in a conversation their subconscious mind may 'move' and point the knee to the door, showing the inner desire to leave.

         Sometimes person is twitching their knee. If it points at someone, that can mean a desire to hit that person. 

         Knees are one of the attractive parts of the body (female mostly) and are often exposed by women wearing short skirts, dresses, shorts etc.

         Knee is also widely used to attack or defence oneself. Most of the attack are aiming to the legs, like thighs or between the legs desabling the other person for some period of time.

         Sometimes we may hold our knees. That can be as a subconscious defensive act when person feel threat, because our knees are quite vulnarable and once hurted could leave a person disabled for some period of time.

         Women can hold their knees, when they feel unwanted male attention

         Touching and stroking the knee can be one of the forms of sexual invitation.

For more body language tips, please visit my site Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

Thigs have their own role in nonverbal communication. Their signals add on when interpreting body language.

People can make opening and closing gestures using thighs.

Opening gesture can be simply a running parallel to hips. In sexual body language this can mean invitation to getting closer. For men it has a meaning of significance ansd power. Women can underline this with a short skirt or dress.

Closing gesture means the opposite. This is mostly expressed by keeping knees together, especially when having a short skirt or dress and in sitting position.

Closing sighs goes even further with crossing them. Very strong signal is sent when arms and legs are crossed at the same time. When arms are not crossed, but legs are - this can indicate that the person tries to control body movements. But this can be also a relaxed position. In this case muscles look loose.

A big role plays touching the thighs. Touching thighs attracts attention to them and can be taken as a suggestive gesture. Touching the inside or at the top of the thighs is even more suggestive.

We may also place our hands on thighs in sitting position just before getting up showing readiness to stand up and go.

More on decoding body language visit my site Improving Communication in Business and Persona life

Today we'll continue with some finger body language gestures. I will mention some rude gestures as well as they play a big role in nowadays' nonverbal communication.

I'll start with the thumb. We use it up or down. Thumb-up means agreement and approval. Thumb-down the opposite. Sideways usually waggled means uncertainty. Thumb up or down has a long history. These were used even in Roman times. These gestures were decisive whether gladiator should stay alive or be killed.

When somebody has his hands in the pockets and thumbs are sticking out of pockets usually this is a sign of confidence and control. So that can indicate authority.

Checking up nails usually means boredom as well as fidgeting fingers can also mean boredom or tense. 

Biting nails can mean uncertainty or nervousness.

Fluttering fingers may indicate fear or uncertainty.

Fingers grossed are the hope for luck (national lottery in UK).

Now a bit of rude body language. A lot of it was new to me. But knowing some gestures won't lead to misunderstandings. Some of them are cross-cultural.

 The most popular in western countries is the finger gesture, made by extending the middle finger and bending the others. It has quite a few names. One of the known variations is extending thumb as well. Using both hands for the finger gesture means 'dirty double'. If somebody shows back of the hand with extended three middle fingers this says 'read between the lines'.

The finger gesture ( 'up yours') symbolizes penis and has a long history and actually disputive origin. It's mentioned in some Antient Roman and Antient Greek writings and this gesture was ment to insult the other person. Actualy it is believed that the spread of this gesture has connection to the geographical influence of both Roman Empire and Greco Roman civilization.

Another variation of the origin dates to the first century of Mediterranean world where it was used to divert the threat of evil eye.

This gesture has a lot of variations. Italians use bent elbow to insult the other person.

Another very common variation is V gesture. It is commonly spread in UK (true), Ireland, Australia, New Zealand and India. I actually didn't know about such gesture when I just came to England. Once I was ordering two drinks in a bar. As the music was quite loud I had to use finger body language to help me. And I think you guessed what happened... Yes I was ordering two drinks using V gesture. Thankfuly everything end up in a friendly way. Since that time I use the reverse palm - facing the other person if I need something double. Actually this latter gesture means peace in non verbal communication.

Some other variations. Showing little finger indicates small penis. The index and little fingers pointing upwards says that the man is cuckold or it may also mean 'evil eye' 

Now some cross cultural meanings. In Iraq and some other middle eastern countries the 'thumb up' gesture means the same as western 'the finger' gesture. Although they say in Iraq these gestures were adopted to the western patern.

Some African and Carrebian countries use all five fingers with palm facing forward to call someone a bastard (literally saying 'you have five fathers').

In some areas in Sri Lanka they use index finger for the same as middle finger in western countries.

In Egypt they pull the middle finger inside the palm. This gesture considers very vulgar. 

To read nore on body language, please visit my site Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

sources:www.wikipedia.org,www.changingminds.org 

It's impossible to imagine our life without hands. They are our main feeders, they give comfort and hugs, they help defend ouselves, help bonding with others, well what not? They even take a great part in nonverbal communication by sending a lot of hidden signals, which help any body language expert to easily read  and decode person's true emotions and feelings. In this matter our hands can work for or against us. So why not getting good at interpreting and using hand body language.

Lets continue our hand disscussion...

Touching people and things is probably the most frequent use of the hands. Touching can be used in romantic situations for stimulating certain desires. It can also be used as punishment, something like slapping can be a good  example for that. The way we touch, the strength can say a lot about person. It can show whether the person is dominant or submissive, the level of interest and friendliness etc.

Another popular move is rubbing. We can rub sore parts of a body to start with a straight use of hands. More subtle use can include things like rubbing hands together. This can be done when we are cold or feeling gleeful. Rubbing hands together in more slow move can mean a thinking process, e.g. how to benefit at the expense of others. In this case look out for little noticable smile and defocused eyes. Another thinking process can be express by rubbing the face. This usually means deciding or evaluating something.

While thinking we may also press all our fingers together pointing upwards or just do this with index fingers only. This is usually evaluating or decisive process.

When we think we can also support our head with hand either with the opened palm or with the index finger up on one side of the face and the middle finger covering the mouth.

Hands around cheeks with elbows on the table may mean that the person is bored or sleepy. And the more head is supported the more bored person is feeling. When somebody is interested there is either light support or no such at all.

Sometimes people hide their hands and this in most cases is a negative body language signal. This can indicate absence of desire to communicate. One of the ways to hide hands is putting them into pockets. Liars often do that in fear that their hands will betray them. Hiding hands may also show a desire for listenning and not talking, that is allowing another person to speak while they would just listen. As always hiding and putting hands into pockets doesn't always mean a negative signal. This can be also done when the person is relaxed.  

Picking at bits of fluff clothes most of the times mean that the person disagree with something and in this way is picking apart the argument.

More on body language,please visit my site Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life 

source:www.changingminds.org

Today I'll continue with hands body language.  Hands indeed can talk without words. We can carve the air shaping the things we are talking about.

The side of a flat hand can be like a knife cutting the air. A side-swipe cut with the palm of the hand turned down can say others to stop talking or doing something. A short side-swipe with the hand done several times shows disagreement (a 'No' signal).

Hand cutting is really 'sharp' movement and in body language is interpreted similarly. Hand cuts can mean aggression or decisiveness chopping with each point during the conversation. 

Hands have the ability to move freely and can openly strike. This can be done either with the palm of a hand or with a fist. Stricking fists can be regarded as an invitation to fight. Fist can strike in few directions: forwards, sideways and downwards.

Most of the time fist means some kind of aggression either opened with actions or inner with just keeping hands in fists.In that case if the person is extremely angree their fists may even shake(still better than a real fight)

Holding both hands inwards can be a sign of extreme tension.

But we can also punch the air when we are extremely excited.

Do you remember the picture of three monkeys, where they use their hands to cover ears, eyes and mouth?It seems like that not just picture, but a reflection of real life situations. People use their hands to hide things. When we don't want to hear or see something we close either ears or eyes. And when we want to say something but feel restrained, we may put hands to the mouth. we also put hands to the mouth when in surprise or yawning.

When somebody is covering their mouth with hands that can indicate lying, although it can be uncertainty.

People often use hands to cover different parts of the body, like heart when in a sudden shock, throat, the other hand etc.

That is still not the end with hands nonverbal communication. To be continued... 

Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life 

source:www.changingminds.org

    Hands are really helpful in reading body language. They have 27 bones and are very expressive part of the body. Actually in nonverbal communication hands are probably second most expressive after the face.

    But in reading and decoding signals that hands are sending one should be extra careful. In different cultures the same expressions might have very different if not opposit meaning. What considers good manner in one country can get you into trouble in another.

  The signals that hands send might be subtle or a clear exaggeration to emphasize the point.

   When you suspect that somebody is lying to you along with other signs pay attention to the hands. Very often a liar would try to control their hands. So when hands are kept still or holding one another or are behind the back that may be a sign of lying. But again, this should be an addition to other primary signs.

       Hands can be used to hold some items that would make the person feel comfortable, like holding a cup where a cup represents that person and they are subconsciously hugging themselves.

       When during conversation a person holds imaginary thing it indicates its significance. If a thing is important hands "hold" it tightly and close to the body. So when the thing is not wanted or isn't important it's held further away from the body.

     With the use of hands we can also release nervous energy or impatience, such clicking the pen or nocking the table with fingers.

    Cupped hands indicate delicacy, fragile idea. If expressed with both hands that gives a stronger meaning.

   Gripping hands has the meaning of desire to possess something or actual possesion. Usually stronger feeling is represented with tighter fist.

       Sometimes two hands can express different desires. E.g. one hand forms a fist while another holds it back. This may be used to restrain the desire to punch the other person.

      We can show others where to go by pointing finger or with the whole hand.

   Sometimes we need to hold or restrain the other person. We usualy do that with a hand turned palm down. We even can use both hands for more significance. So such expression usually "asks" the other person either to calm down or stop doing something.

    In handshaking the palm down hand indicate a dominant person.

Even more obvious signal is facing palms toward the other person. This sends a signal to stop comming closer and is used when person feels that their personal space is at danger. 

Hands are often used in greetings.

Waving in the air is usualy done in a distance.

 In the military they usually use salutes as a greeting and this is rarely seen elsewhere.

Another way of greeting is kissing the hand. These days it is not very popular, but still sometimes takes place. This is probably used to show or attract extra attention.

 The character of shaking can reveal quite a lot about the person. As I mentioned earlier a dominant person would use hand on top position. Dominance is also shown by the strength, the length of holding as well as adding to handshaking the other hand (holding the other person's hand inside their both hands).

Affection can be seen through the duration and strength of the shake, touching person with another hand and a genuine smile. Affection is similar to dominance and may cause tricky situation, when authoritarian person tries to show friendliness.

Most handshakes, though, are vertical and mean equality of both parties. Shake is firm and done with certain interval (not too short or too long).

  Palm up in shaking hands means submission. Usually person put little strength into shake and withdraws their hand quite quickly.

 More on hand body language in tomorrow's post. Stay tuned.

Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

source:www.changingminds.org

      Arms are appendages that can freely move. With the help of arms we are able to accomplish so many things I bother mentioning here. Arms take part in a language of deaf-and-dumb. They are extremely useful parts of the body and can be helpful in decoding body language.     

     By the way, when you suspect somebody in deceit pay attention for arms kept still. Usually that is the first place the liar starts to control theirselves. They can hold one arm with another to make them both still.

     Our arms are extremely helpful in supporting real talk. People articulate their words, emphasizing their meaning. It really help bonding with a small child and eases communication process with them.

     We can observe what kind of person is the speaker as they wave their hands during talk. When somebody is excited or confident they tend to wave more frequently and in bigger amplitude. Less confident people use less waving space and it's close to the body. 

     Arms can show friendly and threatenning gestures as well as actions. Saying that, slow moves often with curved arms show friendliness or comfort, whereas quick direct moves toward target considered as threat. Arms can be used both as  weapon and defensive tools. Martial arts are another way of nonverbal communication. 

Crossing arms has so many meanings. Generally speaking they can serve as a doorway to the person. So crossing them make a block between person and the outer world. That can be done to block attack or hide something within the person inner self. 

Crossed arms show a straight signal and can make others feel rejected, so they may send the according respond like disagreeing.

Crossed arms may mean inner discomfort or vulnerability of the person or lack of trust in other person.

 The extent of the crossing shows how firmly the person is closed. If crossing arms is supported with crossed legs as well than it's a big cut out.

   Croosed arms is not always a negative sign. People may cross arms when they are cold. Sometimes we fold arms using it as a relaxing position.

    To break crossed-arm position a person can give the other person something to hold.

So,defined crossed arms as defensive position, we can say that noncrossed arm position (usualy held still across the body) means confidence and trust. This may also indicate power.

More specific on parts of arms in future posts.

Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life

source:www.changingminds.org