Communication With Difficult People
Life doesn't go smooth way all the time . There would be certainly obstacles in your life. Either at work or in personal life there would be a point you have to deal with difficult people. Building a relationship with latter might be taugh. But what if that's necessary?
This is especially actual in work environment, where you can't choose your colleguas. There is enough bullies at school and at work. How to stay at work and cope with any kind of communication? Workplace is a place where most people spend a big deal of time. Being surrounded with unpleasnt people would have a negative impact on your life. If you enter your workplace with fear, worriness, agressiveness etc every day, how would you feel in 10 or 20 years?
Communication with difficult people can go three ways. You can give them one of these responces:
- Aggressive responce. You show you don't tolerate their actions or words by "putting" them on their place. This situation can take a form of personal attack using sarcastic words and looking arrogant, but hopefuly not physical abuse.
- Passive responce. That means not saying or doing anything confrontational and provocative. While this way seems more friendly it can leave one feeling frustrated after the conversation.
- Assertive response. This one is something in between of the two others. You still object but do it without confrontation in more positive and polite way.
When dealing with difficult people it's good to adopt some assertiveness techniques. The point of being assertive is to feel fine after dealing with any difficult situation. Ideally this should be a win-win result in terms of mutual respect for them and self-respect. There would be no feeling of sorrow, guilt or frustration afterwards.
What are the possible outcomes of different responces?
Acting aggressively can lead to loosing of good deals, gaining a feeling of mutual "hate" and starting the game of revenge, where each would use any opportunity to offence one other. If this is at work it certainly won't serve you in a long term.
Staying passive won't get you anything but frustration and maybe lower your self-esteem and self-importance.
Being assertive in difficult situation is the best way of dealing with such. It's likely to be a win-win. You are staying happy about yourself as you stay and show your opinion and yet you are fine with the other person as they feel their opinion counts. The benefits are obvious.
For more information, please visit Improving Communication in Business and Personal Life
Comments
I have to say that I have reacted in each of those ways at one time or another. It depends on who I am dealing with and the situation. I would love to say I'm always assertive, but that's just not true. Great post. This is also good advice for my babysitters. It is more likely that the children will comply with their wishes if they are assertive.
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Tips, Jobs, and Classes
The Communication Expert | David J. ParnellThe Communication Expert Blog
Cindy
Cindy Eyanson Online
Great post, and congrats on the article on www.KevinHogan.com it was really well done...
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It's a pity I can't open Kevin's site today. I've tried gazillions times, it just doesn't want to.
ThExpert in Hypnsosis, Success Thinking and Practical Parentingis post is fantastic and is something that people in work have to decide on how to be daily!!
Kewl Stuff!
David Power
Great advice. I always find it really annoying when customer service people start empathising in a submissive way with an angry customer; it does nothing to improve the situation of either party.
Philip Graves [Consumer Behaviour Expert]
The Consumer Behaviour Research Resource
Good post! I have to work on being more assertive.
Jennifer Skinner
Wardrobe Planning Expert
how wonderful to have so many communication and body language leveraging tools in our tool kit for relationships.
All the best,
April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Romantic Relationship Coach
Internet Dating Sites Guide, Online Personals Sites Review