Being Assertive When Being Criticised

    Everybody get criticised from time to time. Sometimes the thing you like so much is getting disapproval from people you thought you trust the most. :-((

    What if they are right? Of course no one likes any kind of critic. But some critic is useful and can help you to improve yourself in something. One of the advantages of being assertive is the ability to listen to helpful criticism and also to give one. By taking such criticism we can learn the way people see us.

     How better to take good criticism? Simply listen to it and then repeat the same using different words.

     Lets have a look at an example:

Kate: " This blouse doesn't suit you"

Alice: " OK...There is something you don't like about my blouse."

Kate: " The colour or style... there is something in it that makes you look older"

Alice: " So, you think I need to choose another blouse?"

Kate: " I really liked the one you had on Tim's birthday. It underlined all your best parts"...

   Alice didn't attack the friend and defend her choice and neither agree straight from the first line. She behaved with assertiveness.

   Lets see how else she could respond. 

1. Alice: " Phew... You are not supermodel either." Such reaction would leave both in a bad mood and even an argument could take place.
2. Alice: " I never know how to dress correctly." The respond is incorrect as Kate was not talking about day to day dressing of Alice, but about particular blouse. 

   What have Alice gained from this conversation? She learned how she looks from someone else's perspective and gained the respect from Kate for being able to accept her comment. :-)